unhipster.net » Youtube http://unhipster.net gateway to the gutter Fri, 09 Dec 2011 23:33:33 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Oh, look at all the lonely people… http://unhipster.net/2011/07/oh-look-at-all-the-lonely-people/ http://unhipster.net/2011/07/oh-look-at-all-the-lonely-people/#comments Wed, 13 Jul 2011 12:54:53 +0000 oli http://unhipster.net/?p=1843 Seems kind of unfair that there are so many lonely people in the world. Reminds me of that Beatles song ‘Eleanor Rigby’.

How does a person become lonesome? Is it because life has been cruel? Or is it because they’re flawed in some way?

Found this video of a bitch titty old man popping balloons in his living room.

First of all I started laughing at him. I was like: “Ha! What a fucking loser!”, but then, as I looked closer, paid extra special attention to that vacancy in his eyes, as though some morose gorilla in a cage, I felt my heart implode.

Wonder if this guy’s lonely because he pops balloons or if he pops balloons because he’s lonely?

Sad.

-Are lonely people just ‘assholes’?

-Do you like to pop balloons?

-Are the Beatles overrated?

-Has life been cruel to you?

-Do you have man boobs?

]]> http://unhipster.net/2011/07/oh-look-at-all-the-lonely-people/feed/ 0 Crazy Girls are A.O.K… http://unhipster.net/2011/07/crazy-girls-are-a-o-k/ http://unhipster.net/2011/07/crazy-girls-are-a-o-k/#comments Tue, 12 Jul 2011 12:40:31 +0000 oli http://unhipster.net/?p=1823 Spent a month or two in a stupor. Been bumbling around. Felt that if I could just ameliorate mind, body, and soul – attain ‘optimum’ levels of performance and satisfaction – it would solve all of my problems, that I would be ‘happy’ and not have to worry any more.

I set out to find the perfect woman – ‘wife material’. I made a highly-detailed list of requirements; by which I mean character traits, idiosyncrasies, and then superficial, surface-level details. I put my list in the percolator, refined and defined and realigned my perception with reality. This is what it spat out at me:

1.Face.
2.Tits.
3.Ass.

I am the alchemist of love; I can turn shit into gold.

But then I got to thinking… What is it that men want? Do we just want a pretty smile on some pulchritudinous face? A vagina to come home to after a long day at the office? I think this is just what some girls think that we want. When I think for myself I’m not so sure.

I want a girl who feels like home.

Feel kind of sad to see latent hotties flipping out because they don’t have big enough titties.

Feel kind of ashamed that they feel they have to conform to sluttiness and being dumb.

Feel kind of weird when they smear their faces in make-up in lurid protest.

Wish they could just chill.

-Are you a boy or a girl?
-Are ‘crazy’ girls easier than regular ones?
-Is it misogynistic to dislike crazy girls?
-Is this girl trolling?
-Are sensitive guys just faking it to get laid?
-Are we all just selfish gene-machines at heart?

]]> http://unhipster.net/2011/07/crazy-girls-are-a-o-k/feed/ 0 Metaphor for Society… http://unhipster.net/2011/04/metaphor-for-society/ http://unhipster.net/2011/04/metaphor-for-society/#comments Sat, 16 Apr 2011 20:18:51 +0000 oli http://unhipster.net/?p=1752

Sometimes feels like we’re all just reaching for the unattainable. WTF?

]]> http://unhipster.net/2011/04/metaphor-for-society/feed/ 0 The Friday Dance… http://unhipster.net/2011/04/the-friday-dance/ http://unhipster.net/2011/04/the-friday-dance/#comments Fri, 08 Apr 2011 23:24:37 +0000 oli http://unhipster.net/?p=1697

It’s Friday, yo!

]]> http://unhipster.net/2011/04/the-friday-dance/feed/ 0 Breaking: Using A Banana Instead Of A Microphone Helps You Sing Better… http://unhipster.net/2011/03/breaking-using-a-banana-instead-of-a-microphone-helps-you-sing-better/ http://unhipster.net/2011/03/breaking-using-a-banana-instead-of-a-microphone-helps-you-sing-better/#comments Mon, 07 Mar 2011 13:44:22 +0000 oli http://synerjizzm.com/?p=1431

Conclusive Proof.

But it does beg the question: how do you get so tubby in a house full of fruit (even on the tea towels)?

]]> http://unhipster.net/2011/03/breaking-using-a-banana-instead-of-a-microphone-helps-you-sing-better/feed/ 1 AmericanReject2012 http://unhipster.net/2010/06/americanreject2012/ http://unhipster.net/2010/06/americanreject2012/#comments Thu, 17 Jun 2010 21:24:06 +0000 unhipster http://unhipster.net/?p=363

Pretty sure this guy could one day be some kind of genius…

]]> http://unhipster.net/2010/06/americanreject2012/feed/ 0 Alice http://unhipster.net/2009/04/alice/ http://unhipster.net/2009/04/alice/#comments Thu, 09 Apr 2009 19:56:31 +0000 unhipster http://unhipster.net/2009/04/09/alice/

There is a long way to love but I have trouble

]]> http://unhipster.net/2009/04/alice/feed/ 0 Is this real life? http://unhipster.net/2009/02/is-this-real-life/ http://unhipster.net/2009/02/is-this-real-life/#comments Mon, 16 Feb 2009 19:00:26 +0000 unhipster http://unhipster.net/?p=293

This kid just got out of the dentist…

]]> http://unhipster.net/2009/02/is-this-real-life/feed/ 0