Last time I’m fingering a chick…

Gotta start blogging by the book…

Genuinely excited about the new M83 album.

If only all kitchens were like this…

Been trying to enhance the daily grind. Sick of bumbling through space; tired of being blue; wanna take the bull by the horns, look life in the eye; make it mine and spin my world around.

1. ‘James Bond’ Showers

It all begins with hot water, but then you switch to cold. At first you might dance around screaming, but once you’ve got over the initial shock, you’ll realise that your life has changed: you feel more awake than you have done in years, your heart is pounding in your chest, and you feel the beautiful sweetness of being alive because you’ve shocked yourself back to being again.

Instructions:

1.Get in shower. Turn on hot water.
2.Build up courage. Switch to cold.
3.Ride it out.

2. Become a ‘Tea Junky’

Been trying to be more cultured. Need to be more relaxed. Got bored of coffee and the accompanying jitters, needing to mellow in my old age. Just wanna learn about the world and its most popular drink. Gonna drink goddam tea as though its some goddam religion.

Instructions:

1.Find a place that sells specialty teas.
2.Experiment.
3.The end.

Recommended:

1.Green Tea
2.Houji Cha
3.Lapsang Souchong
4.Earl Grey
5.Dragon Tea

3.Take a ‘Daily Constitutional’

Nothing better than seeing the sights, getting some air. Get the train or the bus to work? Get off a stop or two early and walk the rest of the way. Gotta day off? Walk somewhere. Break free of your routine, take circuitous routes about the city. Don’t be one of those douche bags that doesn’t do anything.

Instructions:

1.Walk.
2.Enjoy.

Bonus: People are gonna be super impressed when you tell them that you took your ‘constitutional’. Healthy and erudite? Way to get laid, big buddy.

4.Make Small Talk

Yes, this is definitely lame. You don’t wanna be one of those freaky people that ‘invades people’s personal spaces’. Just seems to me though that a lot of people are too busy or too cool for small talk. They’ve watched too many movies and think that life should just be about the ‘big things’ or the ‘special moments’. Truth be told though, everybody has a story to tell and you’re not gonna get it out of them unless you reach out somehow.

Instructions:

1.Say ‘hi’.
2.Ask questions.
3.See what happens.

Get outside yourself and into the hearts of others. Fuck being aloof, bro. That shit’s for pussies.

5.Smile

Being miserable is pretty cool but smiling makes you happy.

Smile at people in the street. Smile at the people who serve you at supermarket checkouts and fastfood places. Smile at people you know. Probably they’ll smile back and the world’ll seem a nicer place.

Instructions:

1.Smile.

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-Is this list likely to enhance your quality of life?
-Is ‘happiness’ overrated?
-Does being miserable, cynical bastards make people look cooler?
-Why the fuck am I still writing this stupid blog when nobody reads it?
-What is the meaning of life?