Love you, crazy Japanese people. From the album ‘Drifting My Folklore’…

Sometimes I feel so grateful to be alive; wide-awake in the here and now. I go weak at the knees; overpowered by the gamut of  unprecedented opportunities available to us and our generation. Boundless choices and options and never-ending roads to stroll down. This is the time to be young and alive – it brings tears to my eyes just to think about it.

Compare my life to the older generations. Think about my grandparents and their blue collar jobs and their lack of internets and limited number of TV channels. Think about my cosmopolitan, technological lifestyle – friends from different continents; ipods and iphones and ipads. Feel like I’m living in the future. Feels so goddam good; like humans are winning; like we finally conquered nature – we came into our element.

Feel invincible because the greatest minds on earth are working away in their offices and laboratories as we speak. They’re curing diseases and purifying water; they’re saving the planet and helping the needy.

Just glad to be free in the free world. Just glad I can go places. Just glad I can experience things that others couldn’t just a few years previous. Just glad I have food to eat and water to drink. Just glad to be here. Just glad that I can stick my dick in a lubricated egg if I want to.

Seems like scientists have been working really hard. I’m proud of them. They’ve created a series of disposable cups and eggs that I can fill with lubricant and then throw away once I’ve had my wicked way. Wonder if this is a feminist statement of some kind? Wonder if this is a sign that men and women no longer need each other? Wonder if this egg could cook and clean whether I would have finally found the perfect partner? Been watching the advert to see if I should get one. Kind of confused though because it has actual chickens in it.

Seems kind of wrong to fuck a chicken’s egg, even a synthetic one. Not sure Jesus would approve (unless it was Easter). Maybe I should buy a cup instead – they’re made by the same company and come in a multitude of shapes and colours.

Looks like something you might see in Starbuxx. Maybe I can finally learn to make my own ‘Frappucino’. Maybe I should just do it – be bold and take chances, do something audacious for a change.

Imagine the possibilities.

http://e.tenga.co.jp/index.php

-Have you ever had sex with an egg?

-Does it seem weird for men to have sex toys but normal for women to have vibrators? Why is that?

-What does it say about us as a species that we have invented these kinds of things?

-Have men and women become more distanced than in generations past?

-Can you imagine your granddad sticking his dick in an egg?

-Are we doomed?

Feeling sexy. Gonna lick a door knob.

If I’m lucky I’ll get double-teamed.

Gonna wear my Sunday hat so I don’t feel like a tramp.

If only I hadn’t forgotten my key…

http://doorknobgirl.tumblr.com

Think I’ll eat my lunch inside a concrete tree, pretend that I’m in touch with the natural world.

<3 u Japan. Gonna go to Okinawa and pretend that everything is fine and dandy.

Stolen from Inhabitat

Now even in the dark other people can see how retarded you are…